Custody FAQs

There is no specific age at which a child may decide which parent to live with. A child's custody preference is given more respect as the child's age and maturity increases. As you'd expect, Courts give more weight to the preference of a child who is seventeen than one who is twelve. Courts seldom - but may - consider children age ten and under to have a sufficient maturity to express a custody preference. A child's preference will be discounted if it appears "purchased" by a parent's manipulations. Minnesota law gives and older teen's custody preference much more priority and importance than does North Dakota's.

Yes, there are. The general rule is that a custodial parent may not move from the state where the divorce was granted without the consent of (1) the noncustodial parent or (2) the court. In fact, a person moving the children without such consent may face criminal prosecution for depriving the other of parental contact. If the noncustodial parent will not consent to the move, you must ask the court for permission. In North Dakota, the custodial parent has the burden of showing the court that the move will be in the children?s best interest. In Minnesota, however, the noncustodial parent has the burden of showing that the move will be against the children's best interest. In either state, whenever the court grants permission to move, it will also restructure visitation rights to accommodate the non-moving parent.

Every parent facing the prospect of custody or visitation litigation should keep a journal. The outcome of any case will likely turn on a multitude of events. The details of those events will have been lost unless written down. Without those details, statements of prior events lose persuasive impact. General statements such as "he always..." or "she never..." do not sway judges. As such, you should record such things as abuse events, the use of bad language, whether visits have taken place or been missed or interfered with, whether visits have started and ended on time, what a person has done with the kids during visits, what kind of care the other parent is providing, and more. If your common sense tells you it is important, write it down... as it happens. The details of your memory will be your most powerful evidence.

Our office uses "Kidmate" software by Lapin Agile. Among other things, this software allows us to print out, in calendar form, every visitation scheme imaginable. Accordingly, we can now provide our clients a color-coded calendar for the entire year - or beyond- showing when the children will be with each parent. The calendar includes start and end times for regular holiday and summer visitation. Each parent can simply post the calendar on his or her fridge and both will know exactly when the children will be with mom and when they will be with dad. The calendar can also be used as a journal to record visitation events, good or bad, as they occur. Our fee for providing this service is quite reasonable.

Absolutely! Both North Dakota and Minnesota allow grandparents to obtain a Court Order allowing reasonable visitation with grandchildren. The grandparents do have a burden of proof, however. The grandparents must prove that visitation (1) will be in the best interests of the children and (2) will not interfere with the relationship between the children and their parents. The Courts generally believe that children benefit from a relationship with extended family members. Accordingly, they are usually receptive to a grandparent's request for visitation.

The IRS Code favors granting the custodial parent the right to claim the child as a dependent exemption. State law, however, grants trial courts the discretion to award that right to the noncustodial parent. Discretion over this issue may be exercised differently from one Judge to the next, making the outcome difficult for lawyers to predict. In exercising such discretion, the Courts are interested in a number of issues: Which party will obtain the greatest financial benefit from claiming a child or children? By virtue of his or her income and reasonable expenses, which party has the greatest need for the exemption? How much monthly child support does the noncustodial parent pay? The higher the monthly support obligation, the greater the likelihood the noncustodial parent will be granted children as dependent exemptions, at least in alternating years. It is very common for the Courts to require parties to somehow share this tax benefit.

Rainbow Bridge Safe Exchange/Visitation Center offers a positive, safe, child friendly and neutral site where children and parents can be assured that a supervised visitation or exchange will be safe and conflict free. All services provided by Rainbow Bridge are confidential. Rainbow Bridge is located at 715 North 11th Street, Suite 101, in Moorhead, Minnesota. You can reach Rainbow Bridge at (218) 299-7694 or 1 (800) 452-3646, ext. 7694.